“If you want to live an authentic, meaningful life, you need to master the art of disappointing and upsetting others, hurting feelings, and living with the reality that some people just won’t like you. It may not be easy, but it’s essential if you want your life to reflect your deepest desires, values, and needs.”
This is from Cheryl Richardson’s The Art of Extreme Self-Care. I posted it on my Facebook wall recently and it hit home with many of my friends.
For me, this topic is all too relevant as my fiancé and I are getting ready to move to the other side of the country (his family would rather he didn’t) and we’re beginning to plan our wedding (my family would rather we include them in the decision making process). In the midst of hurt feelings and misunderstandings, we have one goal — to remain true to what we believe to be best for the two of us.
This isn’t about getting angry, being rude or not listening to people who disagree with you; it’s about setting clear boundaries around the way you do your life. It is up to you, and no one else, to determine this.
In the Heart to Heart I had with Jess Todtfeld, he stressed the importance of doing what makes YOU happy. People will have opinions no matter what you do, so you may as well focus on doing what you want.
How do you know what’s best for you? Next time you’re in situation where you want to do one thing, and others are telling you to do the other thing, check in with your heart. The heart, unattached to the ego mind that so often overwhelms our thinking, will always guide you. You just need to listen in for its softer, subtle voice. You also need to muster the courage to release the need for approval. As Cheryl says, this is how you will reflect YOU throughout your life, and there is nothing more beautiful than pure authenticity radiating from your heart.
So go ahead… Speak your truth, live from the heart and give others the freedom to do the same.