Sean and I hosted a webinar last week called “How to Find Your Purpose, Trust Your Gut, and Where to Get Started.”
We recorded it including the Q&A — if you want to see the replay, click the image below.
Super excited about HeartMath’s recent publication, Heart Intelligence.
It’s been 16 years since The HeartMath Solution was published. So much research and discovery has taken place since then, and there’s no better time to learn how to get out of your head, into your heart, and be guided day-to-day by your personal source of power.
A few years ago, I had the opportunity to interview on of the authors, Dr. Rollin McCraty. Click here to listen to my interview.
Order Heart Intelligence directly from Amazon or your local bookstore. #FollowYourHeart
This year’s HeartPath is fast approaching.
I have one question for you…
It’s a funny thing… At business and marketing conferences I’ve attended recently, the topic that always rises to the surface is relationships. So and so is going through a divorce and it’s now affecting their work; someone else is still looking for love and it’s affecting their worth.
All of us are affected by the force of love or the longing for it, most especially when the heart has been broken. The following is my advice on attending to your heart and healing.
Join the en*theos Academy of Optimal Living to watch the video from this class and much more, or just continue reading below…..
This is all about YOU time. When a relationship ends, it can feel like the world has ended too. But guess what, life is going on all around you. It waits for no one.
Begin a self-care routine, read a great book, spend time with friends, get a journal and use it, do what makes you happy. It’s your time to indulge in all things healing and harmonious.
My rule of thumb is to put the boundaries up between you and your ex for at least six months. That means no meeting, no calling, no stalking on Facebook. ;-)
I know what you might be thinking… “But I work with her.” Or, “I have to drop off the kids with him.” Even in a situation where you are the only one that can interact with your ex on a specific task (have someone help you out during this time if possible), do what needs to be done and get on with it. Don’t linger in conversation. Be friendly, but not friends at this point.
This is the time to focus on what else needs to be cleaned up in your life. Take a few moments to list what other areas of life are still messy.
How’s your health? You business? Your relationships with family and friends? Go through each of these categories with a fine-toothed comb. What needs improvement?
In the art of Feng Shui, everything has its proper place. So too, in our lives we need to sort out and clean up the things that are out of place.
No, I don’t mean a prenup or anything like that. I’m talking about making a written list of what worked, and most especially, what didn’t work. It’s easy to focus on how amazing that special someone was when you’re missing him or her and feeling lonely. But let’s be real, no one and no relationship is perfect.
Once you get a clear look at the good and the not so good, focus on what you want next.
When you signed up for Freshman year English, you didn’t expect it to go on forever did you? I hope not. We have been conditioned through movies and media that “true love” means the relationship is infinite. Not so.
Relationships are more like courses you may have taken in school. There is a beginning and an end point. There is a teacher (your partner). And there are specific things you are meant to learn.
Extract the person from the gender and the age from the equation. This can be said for all labels: nationality, career, personality, etc…
In short, not all men and women are the same. Do not make the mistake of thinking they are.
Our hearts constantly nudge us forward toward the best path although we often get stuck in our heads and miss the message completely.
Look for patterns in your relationships, both positive and negative. If you keep experiencing a similar effect, there’s something you need to learn (see #5). When a client comes to me after a breakup, we spend a lot of time looking at the whispers from their heart, the nudges from the universe that something was wrong or needed change.
Take yourself and your ex off the pedestal. You weren’t perfect. He/she wasn’t perfect. As in #4, when you’re solo again, it can seem like your ex was the best thing going… But that’s only in contrast to the aloneness you feel right now. There’s probably a much better match out there for you.
Forgiveness is like the parting of traffic in rush hour. It clears the path to move forward. It’s not helpful to play the part of victim, martyr, or righteous one. Forgive yourself.
Oh yeah, and forgive them too. ;-)
That’s a tough one, but the thing is, you have to be willing to put your heart back out there.
Ships are safe in the harbor, but that’s not why they were made. Your heart is a vessel of love and joy; it wasn’t made to sit at home depressed.
My friend Annie Lalla puts it simply: “To say yes to love, is to say yes to pain.” Ouch! But so true. It is only in the contrast that we are able to feel so deeply, experience different realms of ourselves, and to learn the lessons we came here to learn. Love is a primal force that shapes us into who we are to become.
There’s no shame in reaching out for support. You know you need to get into the rhythm of life again, the rhythm of progress. Call a friend, call a therapist, or call me for some tough love. :)
If I had to choose one word to describe what it takes to lead from the heart, it would be courage.
The word itself comes from the Old French corage, meaning “heart” or “innermost feelings.” Trace that back to Latin and you’ll find the word for heart: cor.
There are, of course, many other attributes that power heart-based leadership like confidence, communication, and vision, but courage is the motor that drives all of these toward results.
On Monday, December 30th, I’ll be teaching a course through the en*theos Academy of Optimal Living on How to Lead from the Heart.
Below are the “Top 10 Big Ideas” we’ll cover in the class.
I hope you’ll join us for the livestream video…
By mountaintop, I’m talking about your brain. There are thousands of books and programs on leadership that are filled with strategies and techniques, the vast majority of which are based on mindset and ways to think. In this course, we’ll look at leadership from the perspective of the heart.
The heart is now known to be much more than a beating pump that transports blood throughout the body. The organ itself emits an electromagnetic current so powerful that it can be measured up to 10 feet outside the body. The heart also has this extraordinary way of pulling the body systems into harmony. In physics, this is called entrainment.
In a sense, the heart is the leader of the body. Think of it as a conductor at a switching station and that’s sort of how it works. By looking at the ways in which the heart leads the body, you can extrapolate some of these same lessons into ways to lead your team.
Heart-based leadership is about systems and people working together. By focusing on your own level of heart coherence (when head/heart entrainment occurs), you can directly impact others. Not only can you affect their physiological coherence and their emotions, you can also inspire them to come together around a vision. Instead of incoherent plans and strategies, a clarified purpose can emerge.
Just as coherence in the body is created by focusing on positive feelings like love, peace, compassion and gratitude, these same emotions can affect the way in which your words are received. When you speak from your heart, people are more likely to accept and thoughtfully consider your words.
Research can now trace the source of intuition directly to the heart. To lead from the heart, you must constantly ask yourself, “What feels right?” Since feeling is more subtle than thought, following your intuition won’t always get you to the same point as strategic analysis, but that can lead to extraordinary innovation.
By learning how to get out of your head and into your heart, you’ll be able to evade much of the fear-based mind chatter that often holds you back. Self-sabotage and a lack of confidence are usually created from stories or “set points” in your inner child’s limited version of who you are.
From the heart’s perspective, you are limitless and connected to all that is. What can you not do from that vantage point?!
When you shift the point of awareness from your head to your heart, you move from analysis and judgment to feeling. While both are crucial for courageous leadership, you’ll learn to observe instead of judge. Then you can clearly answer the question, “What does this situation demand?” and act accordingly. Instead of following “standard operating procedures,” the heart can offer intuitive and creative solutions.
As a heart-based leader, you need a personal mission statement as well as a team mission, something that connects you to a higher purpose. Remembering the greater purpose of your mission also assists you in letting go of control (one of the biggest paradoxes for leaders!) and embracing uncertainty.
Leadership is not about people pleasing and power playing. It’s about guiding an evolution – either as a team, a family or an individual. By understanding where your team is now, and where they are going, you can anticipate their changing needs before they arise.
Practice self-responsibility. You are the only one responsible for your thoughts, your feelings, your perceptions, your environment, your words, and your body.
Being able to give yourself a command (and follow it) is the highest form of self-discipline. Do what you say you are going to do. Serve as a role model and walk the talk.
A Course in Miracles defines a miracle as a shift in perception. When you shift to your heart’s perspective, you will not only see miracles in your own life, but in the lives of those you lead.
Click here to REGISTER NOW for How to Lead from the Heart.
The earth spins on its axis over 1,000 miles per hour and sometimes it feels like it’s all we can do to keep up. We are a fast-paced, headstrong culture that is constantly in a hurry and chronically worried.
Our amazing mind has served us well to an extent. What’s missing in today’s world, however, is the balance of heart intelligence, the innate wisdom of the heart, to complement our very smart brains.
Current research shows the value of living from the heart. By utilizing these tools, you will gain greater health, feel less stress, deepen your relationships and enhance your creativity and intuition.
November 30th, 2013 – 10am PST
This Saturday, you can join me for a livestream class on “How to Follow Your Heart in a Headstrong World.” I’m partnering with the en*theos Academy of Optimal Living to bring this course directly to you. During the 60-minute presentation, we’ll discuss the Top 10 Big Ideas listed here.
Click HERE for details and registration.
1. Shift your awareness
Because we look out at the world through our eyes, it makes sense that we assume our awareness resides in our heads where our eyes are located. A beneficial practice is to try to shift your awareness from your head down lower to your heart. Instead of just thinking about your heart from your head, see if you can actually experience the heart from the heart.
2. Focus on gratitude and appreciation
Science now demonstrates that generating positive feelings such as gratitude and appreciation can have a powerful effect on our health and well-being. By maintaining an “attitude of gratitude,” you’re setting yourself up to win both emotionally (those who are grateful find ever more to be grateful for) and physiologically (feel-good hormones cycling through your system).
3. Love thyself
One of the most incredible adventures you can take in this lifetime is learning to love yourself. Louise Hay says, “Remember the times when you have felt good about yourself and how well your life was going? Remember the times when you were in love and for those periods you seemed to have no problems? Well, loving yourself is going to bring such a surge of good feelings and good fortune to you that you will be dancing on air. LOVING YOURSELF MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD.”
We are often our own worst enemy and biggest critic. Loving YOU is taking the kindness and compassion you exhibit toward others and mirroring it back to yourself.
When we carry around old hurts and wounds, it takes a lot of energy to continue to stoke the fires of anger, irritation and envy. Forgiveness isn’t necessarily so the other person can come back into your good graces. It’s a tool for you to let go of the negative feelings and associations that are holding you back from your best life. By forgiving others, you free yourself.
5. Pay attention to the nudge
The “nudge” is the universe opening doors for you, bringing people into your path at just the right time, at just the right place. The nudge can be a synchronistic event or simply a feeling that you just can’t shake.
That nudge is often our hearts trying to communicate with us through the noise and chaos of our minds.
6. See fears as paper tigers
Amelia Earhart said, “The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do.”
Fear and insecurity reside in the mind, not in the heart. When you allow your heart to speak on behalf of your choices and preferences, you see fear as the illusion it is. You become unstoppable.
7. Journey inward
Learning to live from the heart is a practice and a process. It is a sacred journey traversing holy ground. The path is a simple path that leads to the adventure of a lifetime.
8. Dialogue with the heart
Did you know you can talk to your heart?
When you speak directly to your heart, you may be surprised to learn that it speaks back. Unlike the complicated mind chatter that exists in the brain, the heart responds with very simple answers: Yes, No, Wait.
Learning to tap into this guidance system provides decision-making capabilities that complement the logic and reason of the mind.
9. Strengthen your intuition
The heart is now known to be an intuitive organ that can process and communicate information. Studies show that the heart can perceive information up to seven seconds faster than the conscious mind.
Intuition grows like a muscle; the more you exercise it, the stronger it grows. Your intuition can guide you through challenges in business, romance, health and many other areas of life.
10. Tap into the force of love
The power of love is a primal force for good on this planet. A single force that resides in your chest.
The scriptures say “love casts out fear.” If you plug into love as your driving force, what can you not do?
If you were to slow down, breathe deeply, and get quiet enough to listen, what would your heart speak in that moment?
In this video, I share what happened when I listened to (and followed) the dream within my heart.
(Recorded at Las Vegas Downtown Project — Catalyst Week)
I hope you enjoy the video, but more importantly, I hope you are inspired to listen to your own heart.
Learn how to listen to it speak if it doesn’t come naturally to you. Practice. There is nothing more fulfilling.
What dreams have you pursued? Which ones are still nudging you toward action? Leave me a note in the comments below.
Did you know that when you speak to your heart it can respond?
Find out how in the video below:
Have you experienced your heart speaking to you? What did it say? Leave a response in the comments below.