December is here and it’s in this last month of the year that I always think back to my new year’s resolutions and reflect on what I did or did not accomplish. Here’s a quick story of two goals, one blown out of the water (not mine) and one not so much (I own that one).
Last year, I set an outrageous goal of how much income I wanted to make in 2012. I haven’t come close. Not even remotely. With one month left in the year, it’s unlikely that I’ll make a significant dent on this one. I could tell you that it was because I took a few months off to plan a wedding and get married, or I could blame the economy or anything else, but how helpful is that?
What I’m going to do is recalibrate. Consider what I did, what I could have done and what I want to do in the future. Perhaps scale it down for next year, or maybe keep the same lofty goal, but with a stronger plan in place for how to achieve it. I certainly learned a lot this year in the process.
The thing about goals and resolutions is that it doesn’t help to beat yourself up about not achieving them. They’re simply indicators, guideposts along the way that help you find the balance between realistic expectations and delusions of grandeur.
Then there are those who achieve so much more than they intended. I’m thinking of a client I met earlier this year. He was successful and said that his friends and family would think he had it all together. In many ways, he did, except that what he was really longing for was someone with whom to share his life. When we started working together in March, his goal was to figure out some of the blocks he had to intimate relationships. This was a guy who was highly sought after, but couldn’t hold down a relationship to save his life.
Fast forward about nine months and he sends me this: “For the first time in longer than I care to admit, I’m in love. And the crazy part is that I’m allowing myself to be loved in return.” As it turns out, he’s been dating an extraordinary woman that, when we started working together, he didn’t even think existed. I’m thrilled for him that he got even more than he expected. They’ve been together six months now, longer than any of his relationships in recent history.
I hope that you have success stories like his for your goals, but even if you don’t, take a look back at what your goals were in January 2012. What did you want to accomplish this year? How did it go? Leave a comment below and let me know.
What do you want to go for in the new year? Share it below!
Dream a bit. Go big. And always remember: You’re exactly where you need to be to get the lessons you signed up for at this very moment in life. Going forward and holding this perspective helps to alleviate the nasty habits of perfectionism, self doubt and self criticism.
It’s all good. Right now and always.