this is an excerpt from a recent email I wrote to a client:
do I think you should “waste” more time and money on countless self-improvement programs? no. that being said, I also believe that personal development is the best investment we can make.
it seems like there’s a disconnect for you… (correct me if I’m off base) you’re assuming that there is some specific end-point of your development journey where things will suddenly unfold into perfection and you won’t ever feel sad, lonely, hurt (etc…) again. that is not real life, my friend. the beauty is in the contrast.
I have spent tens of thousands of dollars on personal growth seminars, books, and programs. I teach this stuff and I still continue to figure it out, work on myself, grow and occasionally fall down. the choice is whether or not to get back up.
I’m not interested in selling you another program or signing you up for further coaching at this point. do I believe you can have everything you want in this lifetime? absolutely. but YOU need to believe that for it to come into fruition. coaches and therapists can guide, advise and help course-correct, but ultimately you need to do the work. and doing the work is not attending a seminar, reading a book, or buying another coaching program. the work comes after that in the day-to-day, minute-by-minute choices that you make.
be your own guru. read and learn all you can, use whatever resonates as true, and throw out the rest. and then apply it.
you are right… it HAS been a good effort, but “facing reality” doesn’t equal quitting in my book. you have learned so many tools. the next step is learning to use them, integrating them into your mindset and your routine, up until the point that they are healthy, unconscious aspects of who, and how, you are. and then there will be the next thing to work on… and the next, and the next. we are here (i.e., in this life) to experience, learn and grow. you can either come from the perspective that it’s all a failure and there’s no hope, or you can embrace the journey and see how far you can go, how much you can shine. the choice is yours.