recently, a male friend of mine (let’s call him Ted) was talking to me about how he identified with the feminine, yet was feeling called to step into his masculinity. he’s a straight guy in his late 20’s who has been deemed “too nice” for much of his life.
I’m all for men embracing their masculinity. many of my male clients find that learning more about masculine energy has innumerable positive effects in their lives (the same as women embracing more of the feminine). what I reminded Ted of, and want to remind you of also, is that while the feminine is soft and beautiful, it can also be fierce and powerful. the thing is, Ted was always identifying with the softer, more submissive side of femininity, which rubbed his desire for greater masculinity wrong. this doesn’t have to be an either/or decision.
consider Kali, the Hindu goddess of empowerment and death. she is ferocious and passionate; she is the gentle mother and the fierce warrior. she is destructive, but only in service of recreation and transformation.
here, she is depicted with four arms and a skirt of human arms around her waist. she wears a garland of human heads and stands over her dead husband, Lord Shiva. in many traditions, she is worshiped as the Divine Mother or the pure essence of the feminine. very different image, right?
we all have masculine and feminine energies within us—no matter if you are a man or woman, straight, gay, transgender, etc…
as Marianne Williamson teaches, for heterosexual men and women, our “major” sexual energy is that of our gender. that is, a woman’s major is feminine and a man’s is masculine. Matt James, president of Kona University, teaches that whenever there is a problem in life, there’s most likely an imbalance of sexual energy. this is apparent nowhere more than in relationships. my relationship (and my life as a whole) works best when I am in my feminine and my partner is in his masculine.
the point is to embrace more of a holistic perspective of masculine and feminine energies—the strong, empowered feminine and the gentle, protective masculine. this will serve you far more than attempting to fit into the box of what pop culture personifies as masculine or feminine.